Holidays tend to be problematic for me; I always find myself overstressed and hyper-vigilant. I’ve had bad things happen around Thanksgiving and Christmas. Sometimes other people are so concerned with having the perfect time and presenting the perfect image that one’s best just isn’t enough, not even near enough.

In this holiday season I have to find the reason. I have to find the joy in it again, and define these days for myself in new healthy ways.

I’ve decided that finally for once I need to sit down at Thanksgiving and figure out at last what I’m freaking thankful for.

I’m thankful I have a roof over my head. Things have been up and down all this year and a few times I wasn’t sure if we’d make it but in the end I have a roof over my head, the husband, and the cats.

I’m thankful I have my wonderful patrons. Their love, interest, and support has often times been the difference between Rent and No Rent, or Food and No Food. They have had faith in my abilities, delight in my talents, and trust that I will follow through and repay their hard-earned money with my best efforts. I try every day to deserve the honor they give me.

I’m thankful that I have the cats. Rarely anything helps more than coming home and getting a loving headbutt kiss from Midnight, or having Dusky climb in my lap, up my chest and refuse to move until he’s been cuddled tightly, fitting his head under my chin. Thank the gods for good smart loving black cats.

I’m thankful that I have yarn. I have soooo much yarn. My stash is sizable. Any time of the day or night, when inspiration hits I can go to it and nine times out of ten find exactly what I need to make what’s on my mind. It overflows my cabinets and breaks the hanging wardrobe we bought for its prodigious size, but I love it, and it’s all mine.

I’m thankful that I have a vision that drives me. I live to have a hook in my hand; I live to be making new things that the world has never seen before (or old things in completely new ways). I live to fill my house with color and texture and vibrancy. I live to someday fulfill the dream of having a yarn shop all my own.

I’m thankful most of all for my wonderful husband, the family that the gods have given me. He’s been with me for years and I love him more every single day. He’s shown me what it means to have a real partner. He’s shown me what it’s like to be really loved. There was a lot of sturm und drang when we first got together; it’s passed over us like a wave over the ocean. Once you get below the surface, all is calm. We’ve sacrificed a lot to be together; in the end I measure all that I’ve given and I count it cheap. He is the reason for my season, all my seasons.

Happy Thanksgiving, mo anamchara. Most of all I’m thankful I’m loved so deeply by you.

Tags: bless me yarn art, cats, dusk, holidays, midnight, patrons, RealJob(TM), stress, the husband, the stash

Today will be a rather general post, because frankly I’m feeling like I don’t have enough medication today. I had something planned for the day but after 3 hours solid of driving, 2 hours of laundry, enough emotional ups and downs to make an amusement park full of roller-coasters… I just don’t have it in me right now.

Yesterday was a bit more exciting. I think I like Cherrycola Red Heart Yarn. I think I like, MORE THAN like it. I think I’m in love with it. So I’m working on an afghan with it. Only problem is, I only had 3 skeins of it and I needed more like another 15 or so.

So the husband and I went on The Great American Yarn Hunt. We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid –

Sorry, I spaced there for a minute and thought I was going to Vegas. We didn’t actually have any of that. But what we had was a rabid desire to find Cherrycola.

We went to:
1 Walmart
2 Michaels
1 Hobby Lobby
1 Joann’s

And at Joann’s we hit the jackpot. Not only did we find Cherrycola… not only did we find 15 skeins of it… it was ON SALE. Usually I don’t like Joann’s because their selection of yarn (at least, the location in my area) is not the most choice, but this time they did right by us.

Now that’s gonzo. *grins*

Also at Joann’s I got a skein of Williamsburg Print (also Red Heart) and 4 skeins of Sensations Rainbow Boucle in Red Print.

Now, working with the Rainbow Boucle, I can tell you that the yarn itself is a dream. It goes along just fine with my trusty I-hook, it’s softer than unicorn farts (which are pretty darn soft, take my word for it) and all in all just a total delight to crochet… UNTIL IT KNOTS.

Because of all the little boucles (I assume that’s what they’re called), it ties itself into little knots due to the terrible friction deep in the heart of a yarn skein. And you have to GENTLY ease them apart or the whole thread just breaks. Luckily I’ve only had this happen once; I have a way with yarn.

Sooooooo… projects for this next week:

Finish up Pyramid Head from Silent Hill
Finish Reno from Final Fantasy 7
Finish up something INCREDIBLYFREAKINGPINK.

Then take some pictures and ship some things out. Oh, and that whole RealJob(tm) thing I’ve got to do until I can buy my own yarn shop.

Tags: bless me yarn art, crochet, Final Fantasy, gonzo, pyramid head, the stash

Bless me, Yarn Art, for I have sinned. Tonight I bought a LOOOOOOTTTT of yarn. I mean a LOT a lot ALOT.

Let me recount my crimes to you:
2 Skeins Linen
1 Skein Melonberry (new color!)
2 Skeins Cherrycola (another new color!)
1 Skein Light Raspberry
2 HYOOGE Skeins Coffee (it’s for a project. I’m serious.)
1 HYOOGE Skein Buff (I make naked people with it. And then I clothe them.)
1 Skein Shocking Pink (and yes, it is.)
2 Skeins Marrakesh (yet another new color!)
1 Skein Tea Leaf (is it new, or just new to me? Don’t know, don’t care! FOUR new colors, a ha ha ha!)

And now all I can do is sit around clutching my expanded stash and chortling like a junkie.

I don’t normally buy this much yarn in one go; tonight I will say five Hail Red Hearts and ten Our Dye Lots.

I’m assuming the glass of blackberry wine I’m having may have something to do with all this.

I have a secret: I hate to weave in ends. I’ll do whatever I can to avoid it. When I’m doing a flat piece, I crochet over the ends. When I’m making a doll, I pull the ends inside the body.

It’s called “Crochet”, not “Crochet for a little while and then weave in several thousand tails.”

I also hate to sew things together. I would always rather crochet them together, as in the case of doll parts or afghan squares. If I wanted to flip a needle through something over and over, I would have taken up cross stitch, needlepoint, embroidery, hard drug abuse, etc.

Tomorrow I have dubbed “Finished Object Friday”, and will post accordingly. FEAR MY MIGHTY FINISHED WRATH!

Tags: bless me yarn art, crochet, the stash