Posts Tagged 'gonzo'

To many people artists seem / undisciplined and lawless. / Such laziness, with such great gifts, / seems little short of crime. / One mystery is how they make / the things they make so flawless; / another, what they’re doing with / their energy and time. – Twin Mystery, by Piet Hein, poet and scientist (1905-1996)

What’s the difference between an artist and a craftsperson? A craftsperson gets paid *before* they die.

I’ve been busy of late, as I’m sure is obvious from my lack of posts. Sometimes it’s difficult to post because every minute my hands are on the keyboard means my hands are NOT on my crochet hook. I just recently finished up an entry for Threadknits (more on this later) that I hope will do well. Currently I’m working on a Seth and an Anubis from Egyptian mythology, also a commission based on Anubis. This weekend I hope to finish up Pyramid Head’s knife (yes, the never-ending commission Pyramid Head), slap some red paint on him and his “victim”, take pictures and get him off to his new happy home.

I’ve decided to start getting up at 7AM in the hopes of getting more done. No more lazy mornings, no more snooze button — all an attempt to get more done and finish some commissions that need doing. Hopefully some pictures soon.

Also, I’ve updated my etsy shop with a lot of dolls that I’ve wanted to sell. Give it a look, if you will.

Tags: , , , , ,

I had a conversation at work today (because in retail you work right up until the point until you’d rebel if you DIDN’T have to work) with a straight white man. I *SAY* it was a conversation, but it was mostly one-sided. I mentioned the current politically correct climate in which we all should say “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas”. How there are fundamentalist groups out there with nothing better to do than to spread God’s message of love and peace by haranguing harmless customer service associates for not saying “Merry Christmas.”

And this straight white man said, right, because it’s Christmas. It’s not “the holidays”.

I said: Do you know to whom you speak, all the time? Perhaps they’re Jewish, Kwanzaa celebrants, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Hindu, Buddhist, Taoist, Pagan, Agnostic, Check-marked “Other”, or Just Plain Don’t Care.

He said: This is a Christian country, and it’s a Christian holiday, and so we should say “Merry Christmas.”

I do so love straight white men with their easy sense of entitlement and their occasional bouts of astounding ignorance. Especially if we define “love” as “find myself mortified, embarrassed, belittled and enraged by”.

We (the Christian White Men) were here first, he said. I replied that I didn’t know he was Native American. He responded that even the Native Americans got here from Russia/China. I didn’t know that the Native Americans massacred and displaced a indigent population to take over this continent, but I kept *this* thought to myself.

And the first 13 colonies were Christian colonies, he said. Trying to keep more and more quiet, I thought yes, maybe, but they weren’t the RIGHT Christians in the eyes of the lands they left (amazing how often that happens) and so many people came here in search of religious freedom. Other popular reasons to come to America were love of money and conquest, and because you didn’t have a choice (referring to the English criminals who were planted in the prison colony of Georgia, and all slaves of all colors).

As for Christmas being a Christian holiday… really. Even though Jesus’s birth can be placed by the scripture ITSELF as being July/August due to the fact that shepherds don’t have flocks out in the fields during winter? This reminds me very much of Eostre — oh, excuse me, EASTER — where the ignorant but devoted celebrate Jesus’s triumphant return out of a chocolate egg laid by a rabbit. No, not at all pagan.

But in the end I received a flurry of denial from the straight white man about how this is how he thinks, this is how he’s going to do it, this is how it should be done, directly from the Great White God to his ear, and that’s all there is to it.

Let’s pause for a moment and imagine the welter of mortification and anger inside your humble host, Vox Mortuum. Let’s pause and consider how hotly my blood demanded a curb-stomping. Even though I should be used to such shabby treatment by those who have that *direct* line to the Big Invisible Sky Judge, it still comes as such a shock to experience it. “Never surprised, continually amazed” is my motto.

It wears me out, too. I’m hyper-vigilant and easily provoked, as are most of the people who share one of my many psychological conditions. As he was muttering his rant forcefully under his breath my hackles raised, adrenaline coursed through my veins and I prepared to fight or run. Being at a civilized office environment, however, means that one can do neither. Even if your feelings and sense of self are belittled or lessened by others.

But still I demurred, as a well-trained Southern Woman is bound to do, and backed away from the topic. There’s no convincing the ignorant, the red of neck and belligerent of mind. I’m sorry that I did it now, that I rolled over and didn’t stick to my guns. I’m sorry also that I don’t have the bravery to report him to HR. I don’t want to make my workplace hostile, and when you are a minority of whatever flavor that is sadly always a possibility.

Now I’m sure at this point all the family members and my thousands of ex-husbands stalking mefollowing me through this journal are wondering: Just what does Vox believe? “Does it really matter?” I would respond. Opinions are like sphincters; everyone has one but usually it’s better if we don’t share them with others.

I can tell you *A* belief though; a story, a myth, a dream just like all other human beliefs.

The earth, the mother of us all, grows tired and weak after giving the bounty of the harvest. Her energy recedes. The leaves fall, the sap sinks, the grasses die, flowers fade, and the weather grows cold. She dies her annual death and on the darkest longest night of the year her god-husband sacrifices his life to revive her, lest we all perish with her.

We remember this yearly event by the arrival of the man in blood-red, bearing precious gifts in the snow. Unfortunately in this consumeristic saccharine age we’ve gelded him and his sacrifice, and we call him Santa Claus.

I bemoan this weakening of our primal heritage, at the same time I say “Could I have a Nintendo DS game?”

Merry Godsdeath, ya’ll.

Tags: , , ,

I’ve decided that every Tuesday I’m going to go back and reread an issue of Transmetropolitan. It seems appropriate, what with my stream of brain medications and my endless frustration with the planet. If you’ve not read Transmet you need to, even if you’re not perhaps fans of comic books. It rocks the world. Think Hunter S. Thompson in a crazy future with more exciting drugs and more interesting weapons, bringing the light (and the chairleg) of TRUTH into the City.

Issue 06 – God Riding Shotgun

I’m going outside the damn house today. You may begin your applause now.

  • The cover art. Are we sure it’s the future? Looks like NYC, present day. Same page: “The End Of The World Is Still Nigh”. Like it’s been for the last 2000 years or so.
  • There’s a great quote here but it’s redacted for not being at all in anyway worksafe. :)
  • What is it about that tin-foil halo I love ever so much? I think I need a crown of razorblades and barbed wire. Yes, yes indeed.
  • “Here to go, as we used to say when I was a prostitute.” Also, I love the double-mouth effect created by the fake beard pulled down to Spider’s chin.
  • I do love watching Spider destroy the temple… although this issue is really damn preachy in it’s own special way.
  • My get up and go has got up and went. Can I get back in bed now?

    Tags: , , ,

    Birds gotta fly. Fish gotta swim. Dogs gotta hunt.

    Vox gotta crochet.

    I don’t know if you’ve ever been in this position, but if you have you’ll know what I mean. Ever done something and known immediately that this is what you were *created* on this earth to do? Ever felt that heady rush of knowing that you are a unique shaped peg in a unique shape hole — right where you need to be, at the right time, saying the right words, making the right motions? As if the universe itself could find no better thing for you to be than exactly what you are?

    Serendipity. It all suddenly gels.

    Sometimes I get that feeling. I know yarn. I love yarn. I can make yarn jump through hoops, sit up and beg. And while I can intellectually contemplate being bored with yarn and/or running out of ideas in about a few hundred years, I can’t actually imagine it.

    If you haven’t had this marvelous feeling, I pity you a little… but I envy you too. Sometimes it’s the most frustrating emotion in the world because it drives you. It whips you like a merciless charioteer until you drop in your traces, covered in sweat and fatigue.

    Today I finished a design that’s been bothering me for at least two years now: sturdy, realistic butterfly wings. Today it was like the angels singing — everything came together, and I fastened them to the doll, and they were PERFECT. And with that rush of absolute glee came three or four more ideas fast on its heels. A door has opened in this magnificent labyrinth of my own design, and there is MORE behind it.

    You gotta do what you’re born to do. Anything else is a crime against your nature.

    But sometimes it’s a necessary crime.

    Exhilaration doesn’t always put money in the bank account. Serendipity doesn’t always pay the rent. It’s an unfortunate side effect of society that an action performed only *very well* sometimes pays much more than one performed in *absolute genius*.

    Buddha does come back from Nirvana, to do what must be done. I’m glad that I can provide for my family. I’m glad that I have a RealJob(TM) and I can get rent and food and clothing and fuel and insurance and pay off old debts.

    I’m also glad that my passion pays for itself, and more besides.

    Ever got that feeling, that you were made for *something*, and that you’d finally found out what it was?

    Tags: , , , ,

    I love the bathroom at my RealJob(TM). Well, I love the first stall in the bathroom. The lights are good but not blinding; the first stall is very small. It’s like a blocky gray womb that smells faintly of cleaner and nothing else.

    I can sit in the bathroom alone. I’m not forced to answer any calls (although occasionally I do use my cellphone; yes, I’m one of THOSE people); I am not faced with any questions. I can read a book or listen to my mp3 player. Sometimes I’ll spend most or all of my break in there, happy to be behind a locked door. Far away from those that would say “Vox, I know you’re on lunch/break/etc, but I just have one more question…” A good-sized portion of my day is troubleshooting other people’s calls, fixing problems above and beyond those that run down my phone extension. For the most part I don’t mind, really. It makes me feel like I’m helping people, even when it gets a bit demanding.

    But behind the door, I can escape the troubleshooting.

    Sometimes when lunch comes around I just can’t take it anymore; I rush out the door to my car, drive down to the grocery store, grab something to nosh, drive back to the RealJob(TM) and sit in the parking lot with the windows down. I listen to the wind, and to my mp3 player (on it’s lil stereo speaker), and I eat and drink, and I read, and I relax.

    I love my car. It’s driven me away from some truly awful things, and driven me to some absolutely magical things. It also has leather interior; an option that I personally feel the gods invented as a gift to man. I feel no guilt about loving leather — if I could have, I would have followed my Native American blood and eaten the cow and made other crafts out of its parts, too.

    I’ve finished up another crocheted quilt square, this one with the “Bear Claw” pattern, and I’m about 85% done with Reno from Final Fantasy 7 — got to finish eyes, hair, and goggles. I’m hoping to have him done for tomorrow’s Finished Object Friday. I’m about 60-70% done with Pyramid Head; I hope to have him finished up for next Friday. The SOMETHINGINCRECIBLYPINK is on it’s way; I’ve found yarn for the hair, so now I need to finish the wings and put it all together.

    I scrapped my Halloween plans for the weekend (my costume will keep until next year) and so I intend to spend as many hours as I can sacked out on the couch in my bathrobe crocheting like a fiend.

    Tags: , , , ,

    Today will be a rather general post, because frankly I’m feeling like I don’t have enough medication today. I had something planned for the day but after 3 hours solid of driving, 2 hours of laundry, enough emotional ups and downs to make an amusement park full of roller-coasters… I just don’t have it in me right now.

    Yesterday was a bit more exciting. I think I like Cherrycola Red Heart Yarn. I think I like, MORE THAN like it. I think I’m in love with it. So I’m working on an afghan with it. Only problem is, I only had 3 skeins of it and I needed more like another 15 or so.

    So the husband and I went on The Great American Yarn Hunt. We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid –

    Sorry, I spaced there for a minute and thought I was going to Vegas. We didn’t actually have any of that. But what we had was a rabid desire to find Cherrycola.

    We went to:
    1 Walmart
    2 Michaels
    1 Hobby Lobby
    1 Joann’s

    And at Joann’s we hit the jackpot. Not only did we find Cherrycola… not only did we find 15 skeins of it… it was ON SALE. Usually I don’t like Joann’s because their selection of yarn (at least, the location in my area) is not the most choice, but this time they did right by us.

    Now that’s gonzo. *grins*

    Also at Joann’s I got a skein of Williamsburg Print (also Red Heart) and 4 skeins of Sensations Rainbow Boucle in Red Print.

    Now, working with the Rainbow Boucle, I can tell you that the yarn itself is a dream. It goes along just fine with my trusty I-hook, it’s softer than unicorn farts (which are pretty darn soft, take my word for it) and all in all just a total delight to crochet… UNTIL IT KNOTS.

    Because of all the little boucles (I assume that’s what they’re called), it ties itself into little knots due to the terrible friction deep in the heart of a yarn skein. And you have to GENTLY ease them apart or the whole thread just breaks. Luckily I’ve only had this happen once; I have a way with yarn. :)

    Sooooooo… projects for this next week:

    Finish up Pyramid Head from Silent Hill
    Finish Reno from Final Fantasy 7
    Finish up something INCREDIBLYFREAKINGPINK.

    Then take some pictures and ship some things out. Oh, and that whole RealJob(tm) thing I’ve got to do until I can buy my own yarn shop.

    Tags: , , , , ,

    I am a Gonzo Hooker.

    It doesn’t mean what you think it means — I’m taking the word back.  I mean that I crochet, all out, balls to the wall, every waking minute that I can.  It means that I live, breathe, and die crochet.

    It means that I’d rather be crocheting than almost anything else.  It means that every time I see an interesting object, character, idea — I want to work out how to make a crocheted version of it.  It means my hands itch everytime I don’t have a hook and yarn in them.  The second best thing to a crochet hook is a piece of paper and a pen — if I can’t be MAKING something, I can be writing down the directions on how to make it for someone else.

    Being a gonzo hooker means I dream in yarn.  In my sleep I walk in a world where everything is crocheted — where rocks are comfortable cushions, where you cut grass to make fringe, and where automobile accidents result in nothing more serious than having to fluff back up your bumper.

    There are castles on clouds in the sky, and they ravel themselves up from the skein in my hand.

    Crochet can’t help but be gonzo… because with a $2 metal hook and a $2 skein of Red Heart Yarn, you can make the world different than it was 30 minutes ago.  Less than 5 dollars American spent (less than $3, if you remember where you put your LAST hook) you can change the universe.

    You can make something NEW.  And on this tired old planet, new is of the good.

    I have my other blog that I’m getting started at http://www.voxmortuum.net — that’s going to pretty much be strictly a free page a day of crochet patterns.  Here’s going to be everything else about being a gonzo hooker – where I go, how I feel, what I read, what I see and hear.

    I can’t promise this blog will be totally work friendly — the name of the blog is probably the first flag.  *grins*  I may say things like sh!t and f*ck, and I’ll try to censor them for the tender sensibilities in the audience.

    This won’t be your mother’s crochet.  These won’t be scarves or hats or afghans or baby booties or anything else silly — unless it rocks your face off.  I want to take crochet to a higher level, beyond a hobby to an artform.

    I’ll be posting something here everyday, of varying worth and interest.  Just like life.

    Tags: , ,